“But no one’s laughing anymore

Neff is enough

Calvin Klein underwear model Garrett Neff is ridic ulously good looking. At 6 foot 1 high quality designer replica handbags , Neff has perfectly ripped abs and cheekbones that look as if they were chiseled by Michelangelo. On Nov. 22, Neff appeared in the men’s underwear department at Macy’s South Beach to sign autographs for fans willing to purchase $40 worth of Calvin Klein skivvies.

I was escorted to a back room to interview the 24 year old model, who has also posed shirtless for Abercrombie and Fitch. In real life, guys who look like him never talk to normal girls like m e. I have cankles, for Christ’s sake. But this was my lucky day. My b lood pressure began spiking the second I saw Neff, so I attempted to calm myself with a joke. “You’re wearing a lot more clothes than I’m used to seeing you in,” I told him.

Everything about Neff’s exterior was flawless: glistening, smooth skin; shiny hair; the way he chewed his gum. Although he has jet setted around the globe showing off his booty, Neff has a deep appreciation for the 305, particularly because he was discovered at Miami International Airport.

“I was waiting for replica louis vuitton a flight, b ut it started storming and everything got delayed,” Neff recalls of the 2005 incident. “A modeling agent approached me and told me I should come to New York and take some photos. So I did.”

When in Miami, Neff indulges in Joe’s Stone C rabs and high end vodka, but the New York based model mostly survives on Fa ge Greek Yogurt and fruit. Neff follows a Michael Phelps like exercise regimen and never Fake Louis Vuitton Replica Bags travels without his resistance bands. “I work out six says a week,” he says. “Usually 45 minutes of running, then swimming and weightlifting.”

As a makeup artist patted som e flesh colored powder on Neff’s forehead with a sponge, I couldn’t resist making a Zoolander crack. “Come on,” I begged, “give me a little Blue Steel.”

Neff’s plump, pouty lips broke into a smile and he confessed that Zoolander was his favorite movie until his friends began teasing him to replica louis vuitton bags strike the pose made famous by Ben Stiller. “Some of my college friends used to laugh at m e,” Neff says. “But no one’s laughing anymore. Now, they all try to get free underwear.”

As Neff made his way from the back room to the center of the store, dozens of squealing men and women waited to meet him with underwear and cameras in hand. The model sat down at replica louis vuitton bags from china a table and shot me a look as I waved goodbye. Cameras high quality replica handbags china flashed paparazzi style and then, Neff gave it to me: The Ma gnum.

THE FONTAINE BLEW

Until last month, I hadn’t set foot in the Fontainebleau hotel since I had auditioned for American Idol in 2002. At the time, the hotel was dingy and smelled like old people and suntan lotion. But like many of the people who showed up at the hotel Nov. 15 for its grand reopening, the place had high quality designer replica handbags definitely gotten a face lift. In fact, it has received a heart palpitating $1 billion makeover complete with $1 million chandeliers and Apple computers in the guest rooms.

When I arrived at the hotel, the lobby was filled with obnoxious men wearing $200 jeans and Manhattan bitches clad in black who were texting on iPhones and talking on BlackBerries at the same time. The “Notice me, dear God, please notice me” crowd was certainly annoying, but the security was even worse. Picture a condescending South Beach doorman times 10. Everyone and her cousin appeared to want in on the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. The crowd also seemed to be playing a guessing game involving which celebrities would show up.

When it opened in 1954, the Fontainebleau was a hot spot for icons such as Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley, but on this night, the hotel attracted a dim collection of stars: ChloM k Sevigny, Kim Kardashian www.dolabuy.su , Gwyneth Paltrow, Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson and, of course, Paris Freakin’ Hilton. While everyone high quality designer replica handbags tried to get into the fashion show and 1:1 replica handbags mingle with celebrities, I pathetically attempted to do the same. For half an hour, I ran back and forth throughout the hotel trying to find the media check in table, which I finally located on the second floor.

“You’re not on the list. We’re at capacity,” a woman from the PR firm Full Picture told m e. “There’s nothing we can do.”

Defeated replica louis vuitton bags from china , I schlepped out to a hallway to rest my feet and ordered takeout Chinese food on my cell phone. Supermodel Adriana Lima strutted by wearing high quality designer replica handbags wholesale a short, hot pink robe with jumbo rollers in her hair. She was on her way to slip into a $5 million b lack diamond cheap louis vuitton bags from china and ruby encrusted bra by Martin Katz.

With America currently enduring an economic gang bang, do we really need to be ogling multimillion dollar lingerie? Maybe not, but let’s face it: This was a party with plastic c ups at a Motel 6 compared to the recent $20 million bash at Atlantis, The Palm Hotel in Dubai, which invited 2,000 celebrities and charged $35,000 a night for a room.

BOOZE SHOES

In the ’80s, shoe freaks were obsessed with Air Jordans. In the ’90s, the Reebok Pump ruled the streets. Last year, Nike released the Air Force XXV sneakers, which were modeled after the original Air Force 1’s. But much like waiting list worthy Louis Vuitton handbags, the Hennessy Celebration Hi Top will allow sneaker snobs to really flaunt their tastes.

C reated by Jhung Yuro and Ceasar Lunix, the designers behind luxury lifestyle brand Jhung Yuro, the exclusive kicks went on sale Dec. 1. Inspired by the sleekness and color palette of a Hennessy bottle, the shoes are made from soft, full grain leather, have a pigskin interior and a lizard skin embossed Designer Louis Vuitton Replica Handbags overlay and strap.

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